In his groundbreaking new book Love Outside the Box, author and relationships expert Deane Thomas encourages readers to begin their journey toward satisfying and permanent love by first looking within themselves.
The book is a treasure trove of excellent advice and commentary on the subject of love — both of self and others. And Thomas, through insightful commentary and personal anecdotes, will soon stimulate your own “out of the box” thinking on this critical subject.
“We learn from the moment of conception,” Thomas says. “But the constant within us remains a pure love energy. We are created in love, and our basis for existence is love. Indeed, the very essence of our creation is love.”
In addition, he asserts that love is a powerful energy that takes us over if we truly allow it to.
For generations, and, in fact, as far back as humans have roamed the planet, we have been trying to decipher and make sense of the emotion of love — with its myriad of manifestations and applications. In the final analysis, however, love is intensely personal and is the vivid force that speaks most directly to us — and to our souls.
A little further on in the book, Thomas asserts that barriers to love are everywhere and we must be constantly vigilant, lest we go astray in our search. “The current moment bears no relationship to the past,” he says. “But the ego-mind will use the past to torment the present and the future. This activity hinders us from truly experiencing what we should be encountering or feeling.”
He goes on to point out that, in times of crisis, we tend to go into defensive or offensive mode, and “our ego-mind comes out in its full glory.” This is, however, perfectly normal and to be expected. But it is how we follow through with our actions that determine a constructive outcome.
One thing is for sure, he adds. We can never regret anything we have experienced in this life. “There is no right or wrong,” Thomas says. “There are simply lessons we learn.”
Childhood should be a happy time, with liberal doses of love being heaped upon each and every child. But the author, relating that regular abuse — verbal and physical — was laid upon him in his youth, says that, sadly, unconditional love is increasingly not the norm around the world.
“The amount of time children spend in healthy loving environments is slowly eroding,” Thomas says, “which in the long term is not (going to be) beneficial for the evolution of the human race.” What happened to us as a child was not our responsibility, he goes on to clarify, and never will be. ”But, somehow, we have to make peace with this unhappy fact.”
The baggage we carry is so often not ours. ”We carry other people’s issues and opinions so that we may keep them happy, or protect them in some way,” he states. “Placing yourself first is the key to happiness going forward.” And, he adds, “You can decide who will be part of your life journey in the future.”
In the section on Spirituality and the Soul Journey, Thomas really drives home his theme of early childhood being key to future happiness in terms of self-love and feelings of self worth.
“Throughout the first years of life, we are NOT taught what love is; we are shown instead, through association and example from others, that love is associated only with an external existence and is shared between those with whom we are close (our family and friends). In effect, then, society is conditioning each and everyone, from the minute we are born, on what love is and how to express it.”
This can have a paralyzing effect on one’s ability to isolate and nurture our own unique love of self.
Finally, he suggests the benefits of doing a “life review” periodically, to make sure we are on track for prioritizing our efforts in our own best interest.
“Our days are somewhat congested with activities and tasks for others,” Thomas notes. So much so, in fact, that we have very little free time for ourselves. “The imbalance is very obvious if you consider all that you do on a daily basis. Perhaps this is an exercise we should routinely carry out, almost like a routine service on a car or something else we rely on in our life.
“This review is literally a snapshot of our life at a point in time, and this is the window of opportunity for change,” he concludes.
These comments are but a small sample of the sage advice and observations offered in Love Outside the Box. Thomas also includes in each chapter a unique and thought-provoking poem that reinforces the points made therein. Purchase your copy today and get started on balancing out your own love inventory today.
Amazon Link for Paperback
Amazon Link for Download (Available March 28, 2017)